If you are an expat living abroad with your children or considering doing so in the future, hopefully this post will provide you with some insight and resources to help you navigate the complexities of raising a TCK.
What is a TCK?
Sometimes referred to as "Trans-Culture Kids" or "Global Nomads", TCK's are formally defined as people who have spent at least a portion of their formative years (0-18) in a country or culture other than their parent's home country. Most TCKs will return to their parents’ home country at some point in their lives, undergoing repatriation. TCKs tend to develop their identities while living abroad, thus blending their “home” culture with the culture of the world around them. People who have attended international schools, who are children of diplomats, “military brats,” or children of aid workers or missionaries are just a few examples of TCKs.
TCK's were recently described by American sociologist David Pollock this way:
"A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' culture. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background."
TCKs are, quite literally, citizens of the world. They are hard to define and are made of an infinite amount of experiences.
What are the Characteristics of TCKs?
There are different characteristics that impact the typical Third Culture Kid:
There are different characteristics that impact the typical Third Culture Kid:
- TCKs are 4 times as likely as non-TCKs to earn a bachelor's degree (81% vs 21%)
- 40% earn an advanced degree (as compared to 5% of the non-TCK population.)
- 45% of TCKs attended 3 universities before earning a degree.
- 44% earned undergraduate degree after the age of 22.
- Educators, medicine, professional positions, and self employment are the most common professions for TCKs.
- TCKs are unlikely to work for big business, government, or follow their parents' career choices. "One won't find many TCKs in large corporations. Nor are there many in government ... they have not followed in parental footsteps".
- 90% feel "out of sync" with their peers.
- 90% report feeling as if they understand other cultures/peoples better than the average American.
- 80% believe they can get along with anybody.
- Divorce rates among TCKs are lower than the general population.
- Linguistically adept
- Teenage TCKs are more mature than non-TCKs, but ironically take longer to "grow up" in their 20s.
- More welcoming of others into their community.
- Lack a sense of "where home is" but often nationalistic.
- Depression and suicide are more prominent among TCK's.
- Some studies show a desire to "settle down" others a "restlessness to move".
Parenting a TCK
As a TCK myself I have a unique advantage when it comes to parenting my own TCK daughter - I know what she will go through and what she will face. That's both terrifying and reassuring - I know the difficulties and complexities of what growing up as a TCK will mean for her, but I also know the rewards and rich experiences that growing up abroad gave me. In the end, I'm glad that I grew up as a TCK and I'm blessed to be able to give that gift to my daughter.
From my perspective as an Adult TCK and soon to be parent to a TCK, these are some of the most important aspects of parenting a TCK.
- The relationship between husband and wife is incredibly important. Because everything else in a TCK's life is unstable, the family unit needs to be unshakeable. More than anything else, this will make a child feel safe, secure, and stable wherever their family moves.
- Family traditions are a vital part of creating a steady environment for a family with TCK's. For my little sister, it was hugely important to her that every holiday tradition be treated almost reverently - the same songs had to be played, the same cookies baked, the same stockings hung. If anything surrounding the holidays was changed or forgotten, she would be inconsolable over a "ruined" holiday. Traditions were everything to her, and are to most TCK's I've spoken with about the subject.
- It is very important that you help your children learn to say effective “good-byes.” The most universal issue with third culture kids is compounded and unresolved grief. They are always saying good-bye, and it effects them for the rest of their lives. It has a definite effect on their relationships and especially on marriage. Parents can do a lot to help their children through the partings. They can also assist in seeing that friendships are maintained even after parting. Don't forget about saying goodbye to places as well as people. Something I intend to to with my daughter is to start a tradition of saying goodbye to our homes. When we move out of a house, we will go room by room, taking the time to talk about the memories we have there, say goodbye to the room, and take a photo of it. I started doing this myself as a coping mechanism as an adult, and it was incredibly therapeutic. I hope doing this from the start will help my daughter through the goodbyes.
- Acquaint yourself with reentry issues. Coming back into the home culture is usually more difficult than going through culture shock overseas. We think we should feel at home in “our” culture, but that is often not the case. Expect your child to struggle with the transition back and be prepared to help them through it.
Resources for Raising TCK's
As TCK's become more and more common, resources and support is beginning to pop up everywhere for TCK's and their parents. Some of these books and websites were incredibly helpful to me, and I hope they will be to you too.
Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds
by David C. Pollock and Ruth Van Reken
First published in 2001 by Nicholas Brealey Publishing and revised in 2009, it is a must have for every TCK dorm parent and educator. It should be read and reread and then read again. There are scores of other books in print on TCKs all of which have had their beginning in this book, but I feel this is still the best book written on TCKs to date.
by David C. Pollock and Ruth Van Reken
First published in 2001 by Nicholas Brealey Publishing and revised in 2009, it is a must have for every TCK dorm parent and educator. It should be read and reread and then read again. There are scores of other books in print on TCKs all of which have had their beginning in this book, but I feel this is still the best book written on TCKs to date.
The Global Nomad’s Guide to University Transition
by Tina Quick
Published in 2009 by Summertime Publishing. Primarily written for TCKs who are planning to attend secular US universities. It contains many helpful hints about university survival for all TCKs.
by Tina Quick
Published in 2009 by Summertime Publishing. Primarily written for TCKs who are planning to attend secular US universities. It contains many helpful hints about university survival for all TCKs.
New Kid in School: Using Literature to Help Children in Transition
by Debra Rader and Linda Harris Sittig
Published by Teachers College Press in 2003. Provides educators and support staff with ways to meet the needs of children in transition. Designed for K- 6 and is easily integrated into an existing curriculum. The authors have chosen children's literature as a springboard for learning about transitions and have developed follow-up activities to use in the classroom and ideas for cross-curricular connections.
by Debra Rader and Linda Harris Sittig
Published by Teachers College Press in 2003. Provides educators and support staff with ways to meet the needs of children in transition. Designed for K- 6 and is easily integrated into an existing curriculum. The authors have chosen children's literature as a springboard for learning about transitions and have developed follow-up activities to use in the classroom and ideas for cross-curricular connections.
www.teyl.org
The International TEYL Journal is an annual educational journal that publishes new research findings, review articles, and editorial opinion on a wide variety of topics of importance to those who teach ESL or EFL to children.
The International TEYL Journal is an annual educational journal that publishes new research findings, review articles, and editorial opinion on a wide variety of topics of importance to those who teach ESL or EFL to children.
www.tckacademy.com
A training program and video series featuring community experts. This site sometimes serves as a host for webinars on issues of the TCK community. Registration is required as well as a fee for viewing some video entries.
A training program and video series featuring community experts. This site sometimes serves as a host for webinars on issues of the TCK community. Registration is required as well as a fee for viewing some video entries.
www.tckid.com
A non-profit community dedicated to connect Third Culture Kids from all countries and backgrounds. Discussions give tremendous insight to current thought within the TCK culture.
A non-profit community dedicated to connect Third Culture Kids from all countries and backgrounds. Discussions give tremendous insight to current thought within the TCK culture.
www.denizenmag.com
Founded in 2008 by Steph Yiu, Denizen Magazine is an online publication designed by and for Third Culture Kids. It is a compilation of essays and articles on TCK issues seen through the eyes of TCKs. The spectrum of topics on this site is fantastic.
Founded in 2008 by Steph Yiu, Denizen Magazine is an online publication designed by and for Third Culture Kids. It is a compilation of essays and articles on TCK issues seen through the eyes of TCKs. The spectrum of topics on this site is fantastic.
www.internationaltherapistdirectory.com
This site was created by Josh Sandoz, a TCK who grew up in South Korea, after seeing first hand the need of international families to work through some of the issues of living internationally. The directory provides an increasingly comprehensive online global listing of professional mental health therapists who are familiar with the TCK and international expatriate experiences.
This site was created by Josh Sandoz, a TCK who grew up in South Korea, after seeing first hand the need of international families to work through some of the issues of living internationally. The directory provides an increasingly comprehensive online global listing of professional mental health therapists who are familiar with the TCK and international expatriate experiences.
If you grew up as a TCK, do you have any tips for parents raising TCK's themselves?
If you are a parent currently raising a TCK, what have you found to be helpful for you and your family?
